a few steps away from glory
not dependent on society as much as much as i’m dependent on myself.
the key is in my hand… i stand there… seconds away from slipping it into the lock
a twist away from my destiny.
and yet this very moment is what counts. regardless of, what i like to call circumstancial responsibilities, right now… i truly feel like anything and everything is beyond possible.
but it won’t happen till i unlock the door…
fuck fear… i’m just ready to be happy
and i think i’ve chosen the right door… i know i have
a twist away from my fate
this is my life…
ill love it till the end of time
ps. i’m still here… went on vacation, been busy and as Arnold says… “I’ll be back.” 🙂
“There is so much I want and need to say and yet just do. A lot has happened in these past few months. And I don’t know where to begin. Pieces of me come forth in my art and I try to grasp the moments and express them as well as I can before they disappear back into the dark void.”
On a brighter note 😀 I have every intention in posting the continuation to I’m back (I need to make some corrections and add some things). But right now I want to share somethin else:
During this much needed break I asked myself…
“What makes me an ArTiST?”: the word Artist holds so much acclaim to me. I remember getting into a debate with one of my photography teachers about; What makes your work, art? The debate was that it takes another person, to say your work is art; You can not say that your own work is art unless it has been given that name by someone else. I was furious. How can you tell someone that their work is not art?
Art is based in expression and though their is a grade level of quality attached to it, its rooted in the meaning and the feeling that comes from it. Why else can someone hang a blank canvas on a museum wall and it be deemed art. Being an artist is about being true to the moment and its an expression of who we are as individuals and as a whole.
Anyway… I think before I held to much pressure on myself to be what I considered a great artist; I doubted my abilities because of it. Their are so many types and forms of artistic expression and which ever way I choose to do so I want to do with confidence and belief in thy self. But I still questioned and wondered what makes me an artist… why should I even continue down this avenue… am I even good?
As I spring cleaned my apartment I came across old sketch books, my old animation portfolio, paintings, memories and other miscellaneous things that showed me that, Art is a part of who I am. So as I looked back at my artistic life, though not every attempt was successful, I did have some good moments. And to be able to recognize that was freeing. I realized that regardless of where I go with my artistic adventure I’m going to enjoy it. It’s not about the acclaim its about enjoying the journey with it. That is why I am excited about going back to school for applied art & design. I just want to enjoy the journey with it. See where it takes me… because I never want to say I turned my back on it because I was afraid I’d never have someone else say its so.
So, be confident in who you are as an artist. Enjoy the journey, enjoy those moments, and let it nurture your soul.
As some of you know… I’ve taken a much needed break from blogging and doing my art. It was hard to walk away from it for as long as I have but I’m officially back. There came a point a few months back when I realized some changes needed to seriously be made if I were going to continue on this journey. It’s even hard now, writing this, knowing and hoping my blog could be ten times better than it is now. But because I have gotten back into my art after a much needed break, I have to share some of the things I’ve been doing and where this is all going.
After holding my first tangible product for my product line I realized, “Shit! If you really apply yourself, believe in your talent, focused your time and energy towards this dream, and get your ish together you could actually make ‘this’ happen.” It was this grand epiphany that startled me to my core and made me think twice about where I was headed. And though I was able to wear the ear rings I made, they still were not up to my standards. But I knew with a little fine tuning, practice, a lot of patience, and will power; something could come from this. But that of its own was to much for me to handle. The pressure and the idea that each thing I made had to be amazing was like a dump truck attached to my heart. Plus it was time for some MAJOR spring cleaning.
So first thing first was cleaning up my messy apartment. I have so much art stuff (believe i may have explained this before… idk) that its in my kitchen cabinets, under my futon, in both hall closets, in my bedroom, and in my dining room. The only places unoccupied are my bedroom closet and bathroom. And if my enlarger wasn’t the size of a television I’d probably have it in the bathroom. But it was just so unorganized in my tiny apartment; with dishes, clothes, and other crap strewn around I was two steps away from losin it. It literally took weeks to clean. (Trust… I got OCD… if your like me you have an accumulation of art supplies: paints, stamps, assorted papers in shoe boxes and tubs, books, utensils, research, and etc.) But the end result is priceless. Back in October I started purchasing materials for my art space in my bedroom. First I purchased my board and desk and just in May my chair. It took months to make it what it is now. But I am truly happy that I am now able to sit there every day after work and do my Art work. It’s a constant motivation.
This is getting long… Next: it’s one thing to spring clean your home and organize all of your art stuff but it’s another thing to spring clean your mind, body and soul.