As everything seems to be changing around me… the one thing that has not is my dedication, hopes and dreams for this blog and my art. An unexpected move and the pursuit of job opportunities has thrown me off my game.
The anxiety that hums in my heart is not quite deafening but still very real, it leaves me feeling alert and reactive to everything as I wish to be resettled, back in my cocoon where everything is ok, secure and in order. I usually love moving (not the physical part but the new beginning part) but this time around I feel like all the joy has been sucked out of it as it wasn’t one I wanted to make. But even then, I am grateful as everything seems to be coming together. (fingers crossed)
But with the stress of financial pressures and pursuing job opportunities with no avail it sorta leaves me feeling like what am I doing… it has me questioning everything. How do I get from point A to point B? When will I? Can I?
It’s all this uncertainty that leaves me feeling unsure of what lays ahead. And I hate it! But the only way to grow from all this is to accept it. To tap into a faith that is far greater than I have had to rely on in sometime. I won’t lie, my issues with abandonment, have me wishing that special someone could be by my side whispering words of encouragement in my ear and reassuring me that everything will be and is ok.
And though I have family and friends who have given me their loving support it does not seem to compare to those who have a husband or wife to turn to. But I’m getting off subject, as what I’m really saying is that I’m scared of this change and what it may bring, this new beginning that I wasn’t expecting. And here I am, all alone, wondering can I.
The truth is nothing is guaranteed or certain but the hope, faith and work we put into our goals and dreams. That’s what I have faith in, that’s what I know to be true. I know that God has my back and he will guide me through all of this. I just need to be patient and take things one day at a time. Before I know it, I’ll be all settled into my new place and hopefully going on more interviews and getting that new job.
I just wanted to say thank you to those who are following and supporting me and idk… tell myself that everything will be ok. And that my absence is not a reflection of wanting to give up but that I’m moving and and will be back as soon as possible.
With Much Love,