Frozen in the Face of Fear

So it has been like forever since I sewed something; I think it was around March. OMG. To my defense I had A LOT going on. Things were just spiraling out of control and by the time I resurfaced, the end of the year was on the horizon. I remember the last time quite vividly; I had made a mistake… again. And I had just about had it.

Here I am spending all this money on fabric and batting and I’m over here making silly mistakes, wasting exceptional fabric. It hadn’t mattered how successful I had been. Or that it felt so second nature that I was convinced my ancestors were seamstress or I was at least one in a previous life time.

I left everything in the middle of the floor with intentions in returning but idk… day after day passed. Then there was a death in the family which resulted in a family member crashing on the couch and the mess I had left in the middle of my living room floor needed to be picked up.

I packed it away; Knowing I needed to jump back up on the horse like Tom Cruise hopping back into his fighter jet but feeling and still feeling, frightened. Is it fear? it can only be fear. Fear of wasting money, fear that my ambitions are out of control, fear that I’ll never meet my goal, fear that I’m just a fraud.

So 10 months later, I sat here this past weekend determined to start again. Which duh, doesn’t result in just jumping on to the sewing machine. It takes about 27 steps before that, before you can even sit down, you have to put all the puzzle pieces together.

I had already had the idea of replicating a Kenneth Cole Tote bag I purchased a while ago. I started drawing and checking the measurements, choosing fabric and drawing out a pattern, all while drinking some liquid courage. But the next morning, everything just sat there. I couldn’t move. I was frozen in fear. I watched the tv as intently as possible while I ignored everything in the middle of the floor; only getting up for food and trips to the restroom.

“Before deciding to take flight or fight, most mammals freeze for a few milliseconds to assess the situation before making a next move.” (psychologytoday)

Eager to understand why I felt so paralyzed I came across the above quote and was astonished by the simplistic understanding as to why we freeze when we are afraid. Granted I sat there for more than a few milliseconds and perhaps I could have just walked over there and started anywhere, as long as I started. But perhaps freezing isn’t so bad. It’s ok to assess the situation before moving on. And it was exactly what I needed to do; I needed to develop my sketches and patterns before I rushed off to my machine.

Sewing is this extremely complex task where each step is integral and paramount to the overall finished product.

Anyway… I haven’t given up, you’re suppose to do the things you fear most. Plus, I learned that if I’m frozen in fear, it’s probably because I feel the need to assess the situation before moving on.

“The art of the game is embracing the fear tucking the doubt under your arm running and willing your way to personal freedom.” -Natasha Munson

Fuck fear, Let your ambitions run rampant,

BEautifullyODD

 

 

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This Week… Interfacing and A Failed Hobo Bag

Boy O boy … So for the past week I eagerly worked on creating a hobo bag. And to no avail I had to switch it up. I kept running into dimension issues for some reason.

My first attempt was salvageable and it turned out to be a cute foldable clutch. The problem was that I didn’t create a wide enough opening and the interfacing I used made it a bit too stiff or thick. I did however like the Pellon 931TD Fusible Midweight but wasn’t sure if it was as floppy as I think a hobo bag should be. The weight seems more suitable for a messenger bag.

20170122_205354Then my second attempt, though wide enough wasn’t deep enough and from there I was like
you know what… time to give that a break.

For some reason, patterns always look bigger than the end result and  that’s with taking into account the seam allowance. But since I have been creating my own patterns, I have to remember that it’s ok if it looks too big.

So I decided to go back to the drawing board using a previous pattern I made for clutches. And finally I had some success! Which was a relief as I immediately started to doubt my self, my sanity and whether or not I knew what I was doing when the hobo bag didn’t work out. What I did like is the Pellon Deco Fuse 520. That stuff is hard and provides a very durable structure to my designs. Someone had suggested using canvas mesh for the structure of bags but I did not like it. When I created the grey clutch a couple of months ago it had no structure and was floppy. But now that I’ve found the perfect interfacing for my clutches, I feel more confident and excited to proceed with other designs, and yes, make another attempt at creating an awesome hobo bag.

So the hours of researching interfacing and watching videos paid off, I suggest watching: Interfacing! AND Joanns has swatches available so that you can touch and test the feel and weight of all the different types of interfacing. Trust, I was so overwhelmed trying to find the interfacing while at the store but to my surprise I found a key ring of swatches next to the interfacing and was able to pick accordingly. So that made things easy.

Any who… Though the hobo bad didn’t turn out, this week wasn’t a complete fail. I kept moving forward and didn’t give up.

Next week, We’ll be back to the graphic design series, How to Rebuild your Portfolio, by  creating an identity for a Health and Wellness Spa. See you soon.

 

 

Finally!

The “non-stick” pressor foot I had to order finally came in the mail and it surprisingly did exactly what it is suppose to do. I for sure thought, I could redo the bag (in the previous post) with the vinyl; But why did I go and try to add canvas mesh inside of it. Ugh… so annoyed. The mesh did give it the sturdiness I’m looking for but since I cut it to big it just made the purse sorta bend. lol. To be blunt it was not cute.

So tonight when I got home from work I was on a mission. I had this idea brewing for some time but hadn’t exactly took the time to fully realize it. But to see it come to life is more than awesome considering how long I pondered over the construction of it.

Though I have ran into a few issues along the way, even this one has its flaws, I love how it seems to be feeding my creativity. It’s fueling other areas of my life and for that I am truly grateful. I admit it almost feels second nature, as if it was passed down by my ancestors or something.

Till Next Time

BEautifullyODD

I have one more clutch to design, maybe two, tryna be cute for NY but once I’m finished I’ll be expanding the blog in another direction in which I’ll be discussing some ideas, goals and hopefully start working on some awesome projects.

 

 

 

3 Attempts Later

BAG 1 – So… as usual I am always jumping into the deep end. Why do I do that. To be honest, the problems I ran into were for the most part, minor. Granted, the first pattern I used didn’t make that much since but I still thought it was doable. I ended up wasting a lot of space in my seam allowance which resulted in a puckered vinyl mess. I think the choice of pattern was my first mistake, the lack of directions left me questioning a few things and it seemed over complicated.

BAG 2 – So I went back to an even simpler design in which I did everything for the most part right besides over heating the vinyl. But then… OMG… As I was trying to sew with both sides of the vinyl facing out, the feed dog pretty much ate it up. And mind you I’m trying to sew through 8 layers of thick fabric. So that is when I realized I needed a special presser foot. Exhale. My second bag was supposed to be my redemption and boy it was lookin fab, minus the overheated spots on the vinyl where I over ironed, lol. But when I started sewing it with the vinyl sides facing out, the feed dog basically destroyed it and my determination left it with rips and snags. AND O… Don’t put a pin through vinyl unless it’s in the seam allowance; use clips. Long story short. Another one bit the dust. Lol. Exhale.

BAG 3 – I loved the pattern of bag 2 and  how it was looking but I can’t restart it until I get the presser foot that will feed the fabric. And after feeling defeated, not once but twice, I said let’s take this back to elementary school and use basic canvas fabric. And finally it came out. My only issue is that I should have added the plastic canvas in the lining in order to stiffen its structure but other than that it came out quite perfect. It’s a basic canvas clutch. It would be cute if I added a silver chain to it but for now I love it for what it is. It was and idea fully realized. I love the tucked edge around the opening, and that I got the metal snap on correctly, how I lined up the pattern, how my tag looks with it, that pointed tip, and that it’s a representation of what’s to come.

Special Presser Foot