I paced around my grandmothers backyard, holding my niece. The trees reaching the clouds in the sky. Soft water color pinks and blues painted the yard. Dreaming of the future, hoping that one day; she will stand strong and tall. Tears filled my eyes. A passion I can not describe. I was overwhelmed with love, with hope, and faith. I never had confidence in myself, and to hold my five month year old niece was like holding a piece of the future. I wanted her to know, how much I truly loved her. And that life can sometimes be hard but that no matter what, her family would be there to love her. I learned what it is to love; To have hope and faith as we desperately try to achieve our hearts desires.
I realized that no matter my weight, looks, oddness, or hair cut, it can not determine who I am on the inside. I am more than what I think I am. I don’t care anymore about whether I look cute or whether I have achieved someone’s merit standards. I am me. And honestly, that’s hard to say considering I let some one cut all my damn hair off. I look at myself in the mirror and I see a girl that wants to be a woman. I see a free spirited individual with a fire that burns so deeply inside that it can set the sky a flame.
I came home, in search of breaking down my walls. When I was living with my parents, there were bars on my bedroom windows and I truly hated it. I felt trapped, like a prisoner. I wanted a taste of life, and still do. I wanted to rip life a new one and laugh in its face as I basked in its glory.
And NOW, at this very moment, I know that when tomorrow’s sun rises, I will embrace every second of it. I will stand tall and take life in my hands and make the very best future for not only my self, but my family.
Olisa Rachele :*