What in the hell am I doing?

So I’m watching my fav podcast show, Here’s the Thing, and they were talking about streaming and how this actor admitted he makes most of his money from streaming. I am of course like wth… as last week while i was scrolling on TikTok I had just seen this young lady crocheting live, with all of her crochet plushies. And I was thinking, interesting. But like I don’t want to do that. Or do I? But something in my spirit was deeply moved when they were discussing it. And it wasn’t the money part, it was when they said it has to be something you love. And I’m like wait… Should I be doing this? Like… can I? … and without much more thought, I signed up for a twitch account.

Now why not TikTok, personally it’s just not my jam. And though it has the most potential for me to meet my audience directly there is something about Twitch that appeals to me. So before I could figure it all out, I began streaming. Let’s Make 23 Granny Squares. I went live and we started crocheting IRL. Now months ago, which is probably more like a year now, I had mentioned wanting to start a youtube channel. I even recorded myself making a granny square bag. But with all the editing and design work I would need to do for it, it has just been sitting on the bottom of my to do list.

So with all of my granny squares in hand, I started assembling this NICU blanket live on Twitch. Like, wth, I made an entire blanket Live on Twitch. I do a bit of research, shout out to Cpaws Music, and I learn about OBS, designing an overlay, how to reach my audience, how to edit videos. And I’m excited and having fun. Now at first I wasn’t big on talking, just showing the creative process from start to finish. But before I knew it, I was meeting people and having fun. From there, I made the Carter Granny Bag and we just finished the Tiffany Cowl, both designed by TLYarnCrafts.

A few weeks later and I’m planning to add an art sess stream to the channel. Let’s be real. This is so out of my comfort zone. But it feels right, exactly what i should be doing. For one, I get to meet people who enjoy and love the same hobbies as I do. And document my journey in a way that i’ve always wanted to.

IDKWTH i’m doing yal. i have a tendency of jumping off of cliffs. It’s only been a few weeks and wanting to draw live, when i don’t even do it on my own, is hilarious. seriously smh. lol.

It’s like admitting aloud on instagram that I want to start an etsy store. Exhale. There is so much to do and adding streaming to it just seems quite impossible. But we’re doing it. One step at a time. One thing at a time. One project at a time. One goal at a time.

Which brings me to, failing IRL. I made mistakes. I had audio issues, problems with video quality, glitches, and beyond. And on top of that, taught myself how to Tunisian crochet for the first time, live on Twitch. Which let me tell you a girl was about to give alllllll the way up. I was not enjoying it at all! But I powered through. That tenacity to get to the other side. Like I said I don’t know what am I doing, but we’re going to learn together.

I will do my best to encourage us all to be brave enough each day to take on those projects we love and dare, to be brave and enjoy our passions fully and contently. I know I struggle daily showing up authentically in my art; More so than most. I’m tired of shrinking in my potential. I’m tired of second guessing myself and doubting my abilities. I just want to do it. And I will make mistakes. I will make bad art. I will have to frog my work. Which by the way my nickname is the Frog Queen. lol. I need an illustration immediately. lol.

These pesky dreams and ideas won’t leave me alone. And as long as i have the ability to walk this earth and have access to the tools, I’m going to encourage us all to show up in our most authentic selves and pursue our passions and art with never ending devotion.

Doubling down on my dreams and ambitions.

BEautifullyODD

Want to come crochet with me? Catch me live on Tuesdays, Wednesday and Friday’s at 8pm and Saturday at 7pm and Sunday at 9:30pm PST. In a couple of weeks we’ll be having our first ever Sketching Session where our only goal is to just show up and put marks on a page. Catch you soon and as always, THANK YOU!!!

https://www.twitch.tv/beautifullyodd