No longer talking, but doing.

I launched my pattern collection and … (this is a long one)

I get to go to Adobe MAX!!!!! WTF… but yo seriously… this isn’t something I’d ever be able to afford to do on my own. Knowning how great of an opportunity this it is, I can’t help but reflect on my work and what it has taken for me to get to this step in my career.

From sketches on my first tablet when I was studying at Sierra Community College, to finding some of my photograhy on an old website after I lost most of my work on crashed computers. To being pregnant and investing in Leverage Your Art and countless other programs. To walking into Borders and being inspired by all the art I’d see and purchasing a book on how to be an etsy seller. To being right here where I am now. In between those cracks are late nights where I was on a fever pitch learning how to sew purses like it was intuitive and editing hundreds of client photos while working full time for the State. My path, though messy and filled with a bunch of what if’s and should haves, is one where it is inherently me.

Though I believe attending MAX in person this year will be an amazing experience, I still contest that the year of Covid was the most amazing year because it was FREE99 and it was 72 hours of non stop tutorials, motivation and amazing art. Since then, the free experience does not compare. And based on my schedule this year, a lot of what I want to attend is at the same time. Which is fine with me cause I’d rather be comforatbale in my pj’s watching the replays since im Queen Introvert and leader of the anti-social club.

But I say all this to say… the Covid MAX experience was like solidifying everything i had been doing and working towards. I had been working at the State Library desiging exhibits but I knew I still had bigger dreams of becoming an pattern designer. Fast forward to five years later, having a child, a pup, being a mother, managing a household and squeezing in my Surface Pattern Design Classes here and there, while still working full time… I have to admit it was the opportunity to attend Adobe MAX this year that truly motivated me to launch my collection.

It was one of those moments where I knew I didn’t want to just talk about it anymore. Let’s be honest, I hadn’t freshened up my portfolio in sometime and I really didn’t think I had much to show as far as a pattern collection. I’m still a begining illustartor trying to find her voice and style. And quite honestly that was my focus at the begining of the year. Just focus on creating, showing up to my art practice daily and truly going within so I can find my style and voice. Truly focus on building a body of work.

But with MAX being on the table and just turning 40 this year, I knew I needed to put action behind my words and stop playing myself short. And i hate to admit it, but watch other people be brave enough to do the very thing I had been aiming towards for years. (That’s a therapy session.)

So for the last couple of months I’ve curated all of my sketches and ideas that have been nesting away in sketchbooks and my old tablet. And I must mention all while being a part of the Tillage Village! Which shot out to them. I sat on the beach my 40th birthday with my son and our new pup debating if I shoud invest in another class. And little did I know that this opportunity to attend MAX would fuel my motivation to launch my first collection, while having the support of the most amazingly talented group of women entrepreneurs.

We all have different backgrounds and experience and there will always be someone more talented or more deserving or more qualified than you in the room. However, I knew immediately that if given the opportunity I needed get my shit together and stop talking about it and be brave enough to start. I surprisingly currated over 40 Patterns now on sale in my BEautifullyODD Spoonflower Shop and I am so very damn proud of myself. I put my art out there. I even included a “Inside my Sketchbook” on my portfolio page. Which… again… the work isn’t great… but that’s not the point.

So though I am looking forward to attending MAX in person and letting that experince continue to motivate me to move forward with my dream and be the caffine boost my soul so desperately needs; It is the work that I look forward to continuing when I get back. The deep within. The bad work. The scary work. The messy work. The sketches that dont look like anything and messy paintings. The story telling. The honesty and healing. The commitment.

I am so grateful for this opportunity and am so unbelieveably proud of myself that I finally had the courage to put my art out there. Like, your girl ordered fabric swatches. Like, I’ll have my own art on fabric to which I say…. you know a girl will be making a bag. To… ummmm…..Etsy or somethin like it… like finally… lets go… lol. So many dreams and ambitions…