MY BODY, MY CHOICE!

The fact that we even have to fight for our rights in 2022 is just blasphemous. I wanted to create a protest poster, as too often, when I start to express myself I begin to sound like an explicit 90’s rap album. So. Hey… free to download just credit me!

Creating with a +6m Baby

Before I had to return back to work I felt like I was making some head way on a few projects. But a few weeks later after my return I feel like nothing has gotten done. Trying to balance it, my art and my 6 month old baby, mostly on my own, is definitely overwhelming. I’m desperately trying to find some balance and a routine but honestly, I feel the need to work on my mind set. Which means…

1. BE MFN GRACIOUS and UNDERSTANDING to YOURSELF! I’m guilty of being a perfectionist. I put way too much pressure on myself. I have about 5 WIP’s at the moment and I feel like they equally need my attention. Along with keeping my baby a priority and my home clean (and going back to work). Its too much sometimes but it’s why I have to force myself to stop and take a breather and just enjoy whichever moment I’m in. If it’s the 5 minutes it takes to hold and comfort my baby or the 5 minutes I get to sew or string a bead I need to be mindful and present. Remember that you’re doing your best. Don’t get agitated, this is an adjustment. Which leads to #2.

#2 Don’t feel guilty! Idk about you but I’m definitely the artist that can zone out for hours. Prioritizing my art over basic needs like going to the toilet, sleeping and eating. I know. But seriously if I’m in the midst of a project it has my complete attention; I’m lasered focused and fully committed to it. So there is this twinge that comes over me when I’m working and he is having a fussier than usual day and he won’t let me put him down or his standing chair time will not suffice. I feel guilty that I become impatient at moments, wanting to devote time to my art. I have to remind myself it’s ok. Your project will be there. Love on your baby, enjoy these moments because we all know how fleeting they are.

#3 Enjoy it! Time is precious. When art has been and is your therapy or a form of meditation in your life and your way of loving on yourself; Don’t feel guilty for enjoying it. Soon enough you’ll be able to share it with you’re little one. And they already see what you’re doing. The five minutes I do get you better believe I’m more likely to use them then I was before I had a kid. My little one can sometimes be a 15 minute napper. On those days I must take advantage of that time; Whether its to quickly do the dishes or just take a shower. Time becomes extremely more valuable when you have a demanding Lil baby that needs your attention. So the few seconds you do get, enjoy them and make the best of them.

I think the point is to remember that yes your art is important and you will have to sacrifice some of the time you spend on it but it doesn’t mean that you aren’t an artist anymore. It’s honestly a beautiful journey melding the two. Be open to the process. You do not have to give up your art. I know the feeling. I wondered if I’d have to give it up. Struggling with your identity after having a child is no joke. Just remember it’s just going to take an adjustment, some patience and understanding. When you have a baby, everyday won’t be the same, so just do your best to show up for yourself daily and try and do the one thing you can or need to do today.

I’m the first one that gets annoyed when people suggest day care. I don’t have too many people to rely on or understand that my art is more than a damn hobby to me. If you can afford day care more power to you, take advantage of it or anyone who is willing to help. But if you’re on your own I know how overwhelming the pressure can be. Don’t underestimate the value of: some sleep, a hot shower, a clean space, a cup of coffee or enjoying some nature. Relax, you’re doing great! Your child sees all that you’re doing. Hang in there.

And o one more thing! Becoming a mother is not a choice that should be taken lightly, no woman should be forced to carry a pregnancy or become a mother before she is ready. I’m so glad I waited till now and even at 37, I can admit it’s a lot of responsibility. It’s a fulltime commitment that takes 127% of your time. So enjoy your life and don’t be in a rush and dont let anyone pressure you in having children before you’re ready. I stand by all my fellow pro-choice women and supporters. Reproductive rights are human rights. A women’s rights poster to come soon!

BEautifullyODD

still unstoppable

When somebody thinks they can break you…. lol.

Today was amazing. I pretty much went on an interview that I won’t deny, I tanked. But honestly… the best part was changing clothes in the car like a g. For real. It reminded me of the days, running back and forth to college and work when I first graduated from hs. Hustling to chase my dreams.

When you are determined enough to change in the car, come out slaying and feeling extremely confident… it’s perfect. To be real, they advertised for a graphic designer but really wanted someone who had tons of experience with printing, which I don’t have. But hey, it was fun.

And as much as I need to learn the printing side of things, I’m focusing on…

BEautifullyODD

But even then. The reminder that I’m still grinding, slaying, never giving up, despite a few pebbles in my shoe; well hey… still unstoppable.

Making Plans

The quote that immediately comes to mind is, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”

Well I’ve got a lot of plans. Ideas too. There are tons of things I want to do and accomplish and this is the year I want to make it happen. I guess I’m so eager because I spent the last two years flaying about quite aimlessly and barely made it out alive (exaggerating).

So this year I am determined to take action and to create habitually. Which inspired me before the year was over to sit down and choose a few projects to work on and determine how and what it would take to achieve these goals.

It wasn’t just the how but when? How am I going to dedicate the time to achieve these goals? As the new year ticks away, I am more than anxious to get to work. I have a few last-minute things to clear up by this weekend and it will be time to get to work.

But as I finish up around the house, resetting my office area, cleaning, folding laundry and purging, I can’t help but feel anxious. I wonder, are my plans inline with God. I have this tendency to be the “Jill” of all trades, which means I love to dabble and enjoy all aspects of creativity. But as I sit down to make these plans I wonder if they are achievable. The last thing I want to do is set myself up to fail.

And that is why I have to remember to take time to breathe and enjoy the moment, to be present in the here and now. To ask myself, what is it that I can do now. I may not be able to plan out the whole year and I don’t want to; Where is the spontaneity in that. But I do want to hold my self accountable and be mindful as I pursue my projects.

Lisa Nichols has this saying that success doesn’t happen over night, that it’s a bunch of tiny pin hole efforts that add up. So if God willing, with his guidance and hard work… I can have hope that it’s all possible.

20170105_212120  A pic of the planner I purchased… exhale… I am following my excitement, as Elizabeth Gilbert says to do and I trust her opinion. I was intimidated, hence the article, but I’m eager and full of hope, determined and scared. Silly, I know… Planners are effective tools and I’m hoping it will not only hold me accountable but help me organize and achieve my goals!

Keep Moving Forward

Seems like there is constantly something to do and I must admit the overwhelming pressure has been eating at me. From wanting a new job to finishing the unpacking process and to getting back to work on my art; my only sign of hope is to Keep Moving Forward.

I found the note-book at Target for 3 bucks and instantly wanted it when I realized the inside was filled with graph paper. I have this weird obsession with notebooks and glad I took the time last night to fill its pages. No matter how busy I am, filling a page with decopage helps realign my hope and spirit and put my worries at ease.

Everything is honestly good, I’m unbelievably blessed and full of hope. Just slightly impatient. I want it all now. But things don’t happen over night… And this is about my communion with art.

Stay BEautifullyODD and Keep Moving Forward

Olisa