Month: January 2011

I found the map!

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So… as you all know… My ship has sailed. Now the ship almost sank but I fixed the leak and then I had to have my doubt and fear walk the plank. But though the ship left the harbor… and I knew where it was going… I didn’t have the map to get there. I misplaced it when I came aboard.

But now that I have found the map… I’ve come to realize a few things…

1. A plan: I was listening to Joel Osteen the other day and he was saying you gotta to have a plan. Goals with out plans become ineffective. We have to make an effort in order to get to the finish line. “If you come up with a plan, God will direct your steps.” So, with that said I have been working on a schedule that will help me not only stay focused but meet my short term goals. And as Twyla Tharp says… us creative people have to form habitual habits in order to stay committed to the dream. (something like that)

2. Sometimes I feel like shit and I don’t want to do anything… but Joyce Myer said that if you start doing what you know is right then your feelings will catch up with it. I believe it. When we feel like we can’t, or that we don’t wish to continue pushing on… we tend to want to give up… but there is that little needle in the haystack that says… get up! We have to not ignore it and find the strength to persevere.

3. My determination: well… I knew I had to graduate with my AA in photography. I couldn’t walk away from it. But, now that I’m not going to school… what is going to motivate me? I don’t have a professor telling me what to do, I don’t have my conscious telling me that I have to pass this class so that I can achieve step 1, 2 & 3. I want to start a business. I am not committed to attend class, I am not obligated to write a research paper. But I am determined to achieve my goal. So… by implementing a plan I am now obligated… and though I have to be completely accountable for my actions… my dream is still there. It has not died because I’m not attending school.

4. Life… however hard is so very beautifullyODD. People are swarming around sayin the world is going to end this date and this date. But I believe that life is beautiful… I believe that the human race has hope… I believe that God… hears me… and because of that… I am going to give it my best till the end of time…
“you gotta dance like nobody’s watchin, dream like you will live forever, live like you’re going to die tomorrow and love like it’s never going to hurt.” ~Meme Grifsters

In the end… this is the beginning of my wildest dreams. There is much to do. More than I can even begin to comprehend. And I am more than willing to fight for it.

So whats first… (exhale) I have projects to finish… one day at a time.. things to learn… one day at a time… and hope that is never dying.

much love to you all… chase your dreams… AND NEVER, GIVE UP!

LOVE, ME
OLISA RACHELE
so beautifullyODD

How bad do you want it?

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A friend posted a quote on face book today that said, ‎”It doesn’t matter how much you want. What really matters is how much you want it.” (R. Marston) It got me thinking; Do I really want to achieve my dream? Do I really want “this” and how much of it is just fear and doubt that is stopping me.

The art of the game is embracing the fear, tucking the doubt under your arm, running
and willing your way to personal freedom. (by Natasha Munson)

No matter how scared I am, I have to tuck the doubt under my arm and do it. It’s like I’m scared or shy to continue on to the next step. And I know for a fact I’m lazy. Some days I’d rather have a glass of wine and watch a movie or two. And all that does is make me more depressed because I am not living up to my full potential. I’m not doing what I need to do.

I hate questioning my dreams and feeling unsure, perplexed and scared of ’em. After graduating I proved to myself that I can do anything I put my mind to. But since then… I have forgotten. If I have already proved to myself that it is possible… then I should be able to realize at this very moment; that if I want it bad enough, I can make it happen.

Do I want this? YES I DO. I think of the people I’ve lost. The love or relationships I’ve walked away from. For instance, in Kanye’s song, I Wonder… he says:

“On that independent ****
Trade it all in for a husband and some kids
You ever wonder what it all really means.
You ever wonder if you’ll find your dreams.”

I’ve made sacrafices for my dreams: And am I willing to continue to make those sacrifices. I don’t want to end up some old woman who never gave love a chance because she was a workaholic. And hey, it’s not like I can’t adopt a kid in the future. But, I want my dream so bad, that I am willing to continue to sacrifice my love life. I think it’s worth it. At least till God finds someone who can wake me up.

I can see myself living my dream. That’s the easy part… Now I just have to do it.