I am bursting at the seams, excited about all the projects and work I want to create and am currently working on. But in all honesty I feel like no one really cares about what I’m working on nor do I feel like they really care to understand or can match my enthusiasm about it. I found myself ready to shout from the roof tops that I bought a stand to create videos for YouTube. I’ve shared my idea with a few close loved ones, but in all honesty, I don’t really want to tell anyone. And let’s be honest starting a YouTube channel now a days isn’t that big of a deal, but for some reason it seems like it’s the direction I want to go in, even if it never becomes anything more than a video library of my efforts.
My baby Omari was born the first of December and I’m even more determined then I was before to carve out time to work on my art. It’s like any free amount of time, like now at 1AM (which lets be honest I need to go to bed) is a blessing. I put in my ear phones and let the music transport me into the zone, drifting into the meditative state of whatever project has my current attention. We know the zone. It washed over me tonight and I was reminded of when I first started designing purses; listening to rap or some lo-fi while working till the sun came up. So as my maternity leave comes to an end and I make the sonewhat dreaded return to work, I just pray I can continue to make my art a priority.
And now what am I thinking, to add video editing and all that jazz to the mix 🤦🏽♀️. On top of trying to become a surface pattern designer, purse designer, crochet artist, create a brand and yea, with my newborn son on my hip. Exhale. Can you feel my anxiety. 😳 But really 👀 I’m excited. I know I put a lot of pressure on my self. But I think this experience will be more of a document of my work; Proof to my self. And a way to hold my self accountable to my goals.
If anything this past year and while I was pregnant I learned that my art is who I am. I literally learned a whole new hobby and its proof that with practice and effort you can improve. I just know that I am truly excited to share my life and art with my son. It’s so cute when he watches me crochet. I’ve actually been able to finish a couple of projects and that mine craft ax was no small feat. But tbh I just want to have fun. That’s why I create. It brings me joy, it comforts my spirit and I can’t wait to share that with him.
I’ve always wanted to document my journey but never really wanted to do the extra work filming and editing. But now that time just seems even more valuable I want to be able to look back and see all the work and effort I’ve put into creating a brand. It’s been those tiny seeds from my past that remind me to keep going. Even now I find sketches and designs, bad work too, but I find proof that I’m on the right path.
This was me testing out my new stand. I’m currently filming my first project, the Granny Bag. 🤗 But as I sat here tonight, excited and wanting to shout from the roof tops to an empty audience, I was reminded, duh, this is why I blog.